Quiet Time? Monday Morning 58
Women of Faith:
Are you so busy getting all of your jobs done that you don’t have time for “quiet?” For a time to listen to your heart and God’s whispers to your soul? Are you continuously worried about who needs to be where and what needs to be done next that you don’t have time to pray? To be silent? To just sit quietly and watch all that is happening around you?
Do you take time to play with your children? Talk to your husband? Call a friend on the phone just to chat? What about when you have company, are you too busy getting drinks and food to sit down and enjoy them?
I remember the first time I heard “you need to have a Mary heart in a Martha world.” My first thought was that Mary and Martha were both followers of Jesus, what was the difference. Obviously I had not really listened to the following story:
“Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me." The Lord said to her in reply, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her." Lk 10:38-42Later, I actually bought the book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver which gives many examples and circumstances where we tend to be like Martha instead of Mary, and ideas for becoming more like Mary.
The passage struck me then as it did Sunday morning, because I am so like Martha, yet my real desire is to be like Mary—to have the patience to sit quietly and pay attention to the beauty of God’s world and all that He has given us to comprehend.
I feel less guilty being continuously busy, whether it is a big project or a small one, whether it is all day at work, or having company at my house. And the sadness of it all is that I feel so much like Martha—actually envying those people who take the time to enjoy the beauty of God’s sunsets; or the friends who take week long vacations with their families—unattached to anything they have left behind. Or even the person who gets to take a Sunday nap, or just spend an evening relaxing with friends.
It always seems that whatever I do has a purpose, a reason; it is not carefree and unattached. I am unable to actually enjoy the moment because by the time I take time to “be quiet” the moment has passed.
And yet, I listen to Jesus’ words to Martha that says that those people who seem to me to be lazy and carefree, probably are better at taking their “quiet time” to spend with God, to pray, to listen, to watch, and will always find time to get the rest done—that they are taking time for the “best.” And yes, they always seem to accomplish what they actually need to accomplish, they usually are more content and satisfied with a lot less than me as I run around trying to do it all.
Dear God: Bless my quiet times. I am sorry for the times I have envied someone else’s quiet time; they are doing what you would want me to do. Thank you for the jobs that can be left for tomorrow. Thank you for employees who continue to work when I am out of the office, or those who serve me in any way to make my work load lighter. Help me to remember that it is more important to pray, than to get to work in the morning; that it is more important to take time to call a friend than to clean a closet; that it is more important to sit quietly than to watch a movie. Bless my prayer time and my quiet uninterrupted time with Stan. Help me to always put the “Mary” times first and to appreciate that I am given the opportunities to do so. Amen.
Hoping your Mary heart, can let the Martha in you rest.
Blessings,
Charlotte
PS Turn off the phone, the email, the TV and take some quiet time!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
WWJD
Women of Faith:
What Would Jesus Do? I knows it’s a “cliché.” But it’s truly a cliché to live by. And it is given to us in a variety of ways and times in different parts of the Bible.
Have you ever tried going thru your day with WWJD as your motto. Do you get up in the morning and make the decision to “smile” or do you start the day by yelling at your spouse or kids. Do you get up and decide to take time to pray or do you decide to skip your “Good morning to God” and go straight to getting the work day started? Or what about the end of the day, Do you decide to sit on the couch, go for a walk or take time to end the day with a prayer of thanks for all that was accomplished?
WWJD?
I like to use the motto whenever I have to choose between serving myself, or helping someone else; or when I am envious of someone else’s “free time,” while I am busy finishing work for someone else.
I think about WWJD when I want to complain about a family members bad habit, or irresponsible behavior. While I am irritated, I think “what would Jesus do” in that situation. And I also realize that I have my own bad habits that my family is equally as irritated by. I also think “WWJD” when a friend needs help and I’d rather read a book or watch a movie, instead of being a “serving” neighbor.
Jesus is always here for us, ready to help, ready to care, ready to offer comfort.
He treats us as he would want to be treated. Are we always ready to help, ready to care, ready to comfort our spouse, our children, our friends, even our enemies? The bible gives us this message several times, and twice in Sunday’s readings: first from Moses, and then by using the story of the Good Samaritan—who helped, at that time, someone who would have been considered his enemy.
“Moses said to the people: "If only you would heed the voice of the LORD, your God, and keep his commandments and statutes that are written in this book of the law, then you return to the LORD, your God, with all your heart and all your soul.” Dt 30:10-14
(The story of the Good Samaritan) “”Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "What is written in the law? How do you read it?" He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." He replied to him, "You have answered correctly; do this and you will live." …. "And who is my neighbor?" ……. He answered, "The one who treated him with mercy." Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise." Lk 10:25-37
Do we offer our friends, family or spouse a listening ear—even when we are in the middle of a project, or would rather be doing something for ourselves? Do we make time for Jesus during our work day, returning each gift we are given to Him in praise? Do we make time for Jesus by attending church regularly so that we “love God, with all our heart and soul?” Do we follow Jesus’ commandments given to Moses and to live as He did?
Do we treat our spouse as if He/She is Jesus? WWJD? Do we put their feelings ahead of our own as Jesus would, or do we ignore them as did the first two travelers, and take care of ourselves first? WWJD? Jesus didn’t save himself, instead he died to save us. What would we do if we had to make the same choice? Would we give up our lives for them? Would we do anything possible for them?
Like the Samaritan in today’s reading who helped the disabled priest, we are supposed to treat EVERYONE, not just our family and friends as Jesus woud. Do we put our own needs and feelings first, or do we put others first? WWJD?
Dear God: Praise be the miracle of Your son here on earth. Continue to remind me that Your purpose for me is to do as Jesus did. Thank you for giving me multiple opportunities to help others. Help me to always strive to live by the saying WWJD. Amen.
Live this week as Jesus would,
Charlotte
What Would Jesus Do? I knows it’s a “cliché.” But it’s truly a cliché to live by. And it is given to us in a variety of ways and times in different parts of the Bible.
Have you ever tried going thru your day with WWJD as your motto. Do you get up in the morning and make the decision to “smile” or do you start the day by yelling at your spouse or kids. Do you get up and decide to take time to pray or do you decide to skip your “Good morning to God” and go straight to getting the work day started? Or what about the end of the day, Do you decide to sit on the couch, go for a walk or take time to end the day with a prayer of thanks for all that was accomplished?
WWJD?
I like to use the motto whenever I have to choose between serving myself, or helping someone else; or when I am envious of someone else’s “free time,” while I am busy finishing work for someone else.
I think about WWJD when I want to complain about a family members bad habit, or irresponsible behavior. While I am irritated, I think “what would Jesus do” in that situation. And I also realize that I have my own bad habits that my family is equally as irritated by. I also think “WWJD” when a friend needs help and I’d rather read a book or watch a movie, instead of being a “serving” neighbor.
Jesus is always here for us, ready to help, ready to care, ready to offer comfort.
He treats us as he would want to be treated. Are we always ready to help, ready to care, ready to comfort our spouse, our children, our friends, even our enemies? The bible gives us this message several times, and twice in Sunday’s readings: first from Moses, and then by using the story of the Good Samaritan—who helped, at that time, someone who would have been considered his enemy.
“Moses said to the people: "If only you would heed the voice of the LORD, your God, and keep his commandments and statutes that are written in this book of the law, then you return to the LORD, your God, with all your heart and all your soul.” Dt 30:10-14
(The story of the Good Samaritan) “”Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "What is written in the law? How do you read it?" He said in reply, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." He replied to him, "You have answered correctly; do this and you will live." …. "And who is my neighbor?" ……. He answered, "The one who treated him with mercy." Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise." Lk 10:25-37
Do we offer our friends, family or spouse a listening ear—even when we are in the middle of a project, or would rather be doing something for ourselves? Do we make time for Jesus during our work day, returning each gift we are given to Him in praise? Do we make time for Jesus by attending church regularly so that we “love God, with all our heart and soul?” Do we follow Jesus’ commandments given to Moses and to live as He did?
Do we treat our spouse as if He/She is Jesus? WWJD? Do we put their feelings ahead of our own as Jesus would, or do we ignore them as did the first two travelers, and take care of ourselves first? WWJD? Jesus didn’t save himself, instead he died to save us. What would we do if we had to make the same choice? Would we give up our lives for them? Would we do anything possible for them?
Like the Samaritan in today’s reading who helped the disabled priest, we are supposed to treat EVERYONE, not just our family and friends as Jesus woud. Do we put our own needs and feelings first, or do we put others first? WWJD?
Dear God: Praise be the miracle of Your son here on earth. Continue to remind me that Your purpose for me is to do as Jesus did. Thank you for giving me multiple opportunities to help others. Help me to always strive to live by the saying WWJD. Amen.
Live this week as Jesus would,
Charlotte
Monday, July 5, 2010
Step Up!
Women of Faith:
It’s kind of interesting how sometimes you have a discussion with someone, and within a few days the same subject comes up again and gives you have the feeling of “I never thought of it that way.”
And how when you do something, or see something you like, you start looking around to see what others are doing or wearing or being or using?
Well, I started the week by accidently reading someone else’s blog, checking out what others were “blogging about,” which led to a discussion about that blog. That blog said something to the affect, about how frustrated we can get when we see someone who does something they think is good for them, actually hurts those around them, or is against the principles Jesus teaches in the bible. How we would like to “beat them” over the head until they “got the whole picture.”
My discussion with Stan followed with how we wished the people we came into contact with daily, our clients, friends and extended and immediate family, would go “one step up” and understand or realize how they are affecting others they care about, or how their lives were straying from the path we think Jesus wants for us.
It also led us to reflect on our own shortcomings, and where we have been, and where we want to go. We reflected that we haven’t and don’t always “get the whole picture,” and that we are sure that we have been done things in the past that have hurt others and haven’t been done with Christ by our side. We also know that we have to be careful not to be judgmental, that God will work in his own time, and that it is His time, not ours; His control, not ours; His way, not ours.
We also reflected on the things that we have done, the people we have met, the books we have read and the places that we have gone, that have made us grow spiritually; retreats like TEC (Teens Encounter Christ), youth service trips, our CEW (Christ Encounter Weekends) and Marriage Encounter; people like Zig Ziglar and Peter Lowe who are motivational speakers who firmly have God as their “leader and base;” and our readings and listening to Christian and Catholic radio and TV--to Patrick Madrid, Scott Hahn, Father Corapi, Mother Angelica, and others who so eloquently teach our faith with a real life perspective.
On a broader basis our discussion continued about how we wish the politicians who make laws understood the Ten Commandments and the Declaration of Independence and why this country sought “freedom of religion.” (Not so that we could make rules that did away with God’s commandments, but so that we could better live under and with God’s commandments as our guide.)
We aslo wished everyone from our closest family and friends to politicians would “step up” and take the time to listen, read, and understand some of these same faith broadening opportunities.
As is so often the case, Father gave me a different perspective on my dreams and wishes for myself and those I meet as he reflected on this Sunday’s readings. Lk 10:1-9 “He said to them, "The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. … Into whatever house you enter, first say, 'Peace to this household.' If a peaceful person lives there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you…. 'The kingdom of God is at hand for you.'"
Father said, “The bible shouldn’t be used “to beat someone over the head with,” but rather to offer it to as many as possible as a means as a “step up” to a life with Jesus as our guide and to our ultimate heavenly goal.
And finally his reflection served to remind me that everyone is in a different “growing place.” A growing place, not based on AGE, but on spiritual maturity. That even for the most mature, there is still room to grow and share.
Some of us are infants, taking baby steps, and living on the trust and faith alone theory, believing as long as we trust, someone (God), will take care of us.
Some of us are in the “teenage” rebellion years—not listening to anyone about God, or life, but only trusting ourself and the “feel good” attitude; thinking we know it all; not yet having had an experience that makes us realize that we really need to search, seek, grow, and look for the truth of God’s teachings; not yet realizing that there are many that we should listen to and that we really “don’t know it all.”
Some of us are in the honeymoon stage, not seeing that we have any problems, thinking that if nothing is wrong, why should I seek more, or fix something not broken. We are oblivious to the idea that there is and could be more to God’s love.
Others of us are in “midlife crisis,” realizing there are major problems in our faith life, not liking what we see in ourselves, seeking answers to questions, and ready to look to and accept God’s wisdom as our answers—those ready to be harvested, the plenty.
And finally some are in “spiritual maturity,” understanding God’s wisdom, understanding the need to share it with others, and the need to bring others along in their journey—these are the laborers who are so few.
Dear God, Praise be your Words, Your message, Your availability in my life. Forgive me for the times I have been a “rebellious teenager” thinking I knew it all. Please give me the maturity to grow in faith, to be always open to Your words and Your truth. Help me to use the bible as a “Step Up,” both for myself and to share with others. Amen.
Hoping you will join me in “Stepping Up!”
Blessings,
Charlotte
It’s kind of interesting how sometimes you have a discussion with someone, and within a few days the same subject comes up again and gives you have the feeling of “I never thought of it that way.”
And how when you do something, or see something you like, you start looking around to see what others are doing or wearing or being or using?
Well, I started the week by accidently reading someone else’s blog, checking out what others were “blogging about,” which led to a discussion about that blog. That blog said something to the affect, about how frustrated we can get when we see someone who does something they think is good for them, actually hurts those around them, or is against the principles Jesus teaches in the bible. How we would like to “beat them” over the head until they “got the whole picture.”
My discussion with Stan followed with how we wished the people we came into contact with daily, our clients, friends and extended and immediate family, would go “one step up” and understand or realize how they are affecting others they care about, or how their lives were straying from the path we think Jesus wants for us.
It also led us to reflect on our own shortcomings, and where we have been, and where we want to go. We reflected that we haven’t and don’t always “get the whole picture,” and that we are sure that we have been done things in the past that have hurt others and haven’t been done with Christ by our side. We also know that we have to be careful not to be judgmental, that God will work in his own time, and that it is His time, not ours; His control, not ours; His way, not ours.
We also reflected on the things that we have done, the people we have met, the books we have read and the places that we have gone, that have made us grow spiritually; retreats like TEC (Teens Encounter Christ), youth service trips, our CEW (Christ Encounter Weekends) and Marriage Encounter; people like Zig Ziglar and Peter Lowe who are motivational speakers who firmly have God as their “leader and base;” and our readings and listening to Christian and Catholic radio and TV--to Patrick Madrid, Scott Hahn, Father Corapi, Mother Angelica, and others who so eloquently teach our faith with a real life perspective.
On a broader basis our discussion continued about how we wish the politicians who make laws understood the Ten Commandments and the Declaration of Independence and why this country sought “freedom of religion.” (Not so that we could make rules that did away with God’s commandments, but so that we could better live under and with God’s commandments as our guide.)
We aslo wished everyone from our closest family and friends to politicians would “step up” and take the time to listen, read, and understand some of these same faith broadening opportunities.
As is so often the case, Father gave me a different perspective on my dreams and wishes for myself and those I meet as he reflected on this Sunday’s readings. Lk 10:1-9 “He said to them, "The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. … Into whatever house you enter, first say, 'Peace to this household.' If a peaceful person lives there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you…. 'The kingdom of God is at hand for you.'"
Father said, “The bible shouldn’t be used “to beat someone over the head with,” but rather to offer it to as many as possible as a means as a “step up” to a life with Jesus as our guide and to our ultimate heavenly goal.
And finally his reflection served to remind me that everyone is in a different “growing place.” A growing place, not based on AGE, but on spiritual maturity. That even for the most mature, there is still room to grow and share.
Some of us are infants, taking baby steps, and living on the trust and faith alone theory, believing as long as we trust, someone (God), will take care of us.
Some of us are in the “teenage” rebellion years—not listening to anyone about God, or life, but only trusting ourself and the “feel good” attitude; thinking we know it all; not yet having had an experience that makes us realize that we really need to search, seek, grow, and look for the truth of God’s teachings; not yet realizing that there are many that we should listen to and that we really “don’t know it all.”
Some of us are in the honeymoon stage, not seeing that we have any problems, thinking that if nothing is wrong, why should I seek more, or fix something not broken. We are oblivious to the idea that there is and could be more to God’s love.
Others of us are in “midlife crisis,” realizing there are major problems in our faith life, not liking what we see in ourselves, seeking answers to questions, and ready to look to and accept God’s wisdom as our answers—those ready to be harvested, the plenty.
And finally some are in “spiritual maturity,” understanding God’s wisdom, understanding the need to share it with others, and the need to bring others along in their journey—these are the laborers who are so few.
Dear God, Praise be your Words, Your message, Your availability in my life. Forgive me for the times I have been a “rebellious teenager” thinking I knew it all. Please give me the maturity to grow in faith, to be always open to Your words and Your truth. Help me to use the bible as a “Step Up,” both for myself and to share with others. Amen.
Hoping you will join me in “Stepping Up!”
Blessings,
Charlotte
Sunday, June 27, 2010
"Tag, You're It!"
TAG-You’re it! That’s what Jesus is telling the apostles in Sunday’s gospel. Lk 9:51-62 “And to another he said, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.” But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead. But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” And another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” To him Jesus said, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”
When Jesus calls he wants an immediate answer. He needs us to be ready immediately, just as if we are in a game of tag. We can’t wait until we have gone out to eat one more time, finished a project, made more money, or taken care of some other business. We have to be ready to answer Him immediately.
Because we are Christians we know that our call is to follow Jesus. We always have to be ready to answer yes to His purposeful call. Worrying and planning won’t make us ready and if we are not ready for God, then we are not yet “fit for the kingdom of God.”
God needs us to be willing and ready to say YES! Immediately.
Yes, to being a witness—we never know when God is calling us to be a role model, regardless of our age.
Yes, to speaking our faith—we never know when God is putting someone in our path or at our door who needs an encouraging word and the hope and love that He gives us to share.
Yes, to loving our spouse, unconditionally—we never know when we are the last person they have to depend on for hope, emotional strength or encouragement, or even just a listening ear.
Yes, to becoming a parent—not, “wait, until I ‘earn’ or ‘save’ a little more before we add to God’s family.
Yes, to helping or spending time with a child—we never know when God is giving us the opportunity to teach what it means to love.
Yes, to living healthy—not to wait until we are sick to begin taking care of ourselves, but to live a healthy lifestyle—physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually.
Yes, to a vocation—regardless of our career choice, God’s choice, His purpose for us, may not always be ours.
Yes, to reading His word and seeking the Truth—we never know when we will need His Truth and wisdom.
Yes, to taking time for a prayer—there is always something else to do, and if we don’t say yes to prayer, we may forget to ask God for help, and He can’t answer if we forget to ask.
Yes, to being called home—we never know when our last minute will be with our family and friends, when we will be in an accident or get sick, or will just fall asleep into His waiting arms. We never know when this will be our last chance to answer God’s call.
Dear God, Thank you for “tagging” your apostles, the pope and priests, the saints, Mary, the martyrs, to be my role models for saying yes, without hesitation, to your call. I’m sorry for the times you have had to ask me more than once to answer your call; for the times that I have asked you to wait until I finished something that was my choice, not yours. Help me to always be ready and willing to say “Yes!” to your call, to be tagged—“I’m it!” Amen.
Are you ready to be “it?” What is it in your life that you are putting before God’s call? Are you ready to answer God’s call?
God says, “TAG! You’re it.”
Charlotte
When Jesus calls he wants an immediate answer. He needs us to be ready immediately, just as if we are in a game of tag. We can’t wait until we have gone out to eat one more time, finished a project, made more money, or taken care of some other business. We have to be ready to answer Him immediately.
Because we are Christians we know that our call is to follow Jesus. We always have to be ready to answer yes to His purposeful call. Worrying and planning won’t make us ready and if we are not ready for God, then we are not yet “fit for the kingdom of God.”
God needs us to be willing and ready to say YES! Immediately.
Yes, to being a witness—we never know when God is calling us to be a role model, regardless of our age.
Yes, to speaking our faith—we never know when God is putting someone in our path or at our door who needs an encouraging word and the hope and love that He gives us to share.
Yes, to loving our spouse, unconditionally—we never know when we are the last person they have to depend on for hope, emotional strength or encouragement, or even just a listening ear.
Yes, to becoming a parent—not, “wait, until I ‘earn’ or ‘save’ a little more before we add to God’s family.
Yes, to helping or spending time with a child—we never know when God is giving us the opportunity to teach what it means to love.
Yes, to living healthy—not to wait until we are sick to begin taking care of ourselves, but to live a healthy lifestyle—physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually.
Yes, to a vocation—regardless of our career choice, God’s choice, His purpose for us, may not always be ours.
Yes, to reading His word and seeking the Truth—we never know when we will need His Truth and wisdom.
Yes, to taking time for a prayer—there is always something else to do, and if we don’t say yes to prayer, we may forget to ask God for help, and He can’t answer if we forget to ask.
Yes, to being called home—we never know when our last minute will be with our family and friends, when we will be in an accident or get sick, or will just fall asleep into His waiting arms. We never know when this will be our last chance to answer God’s call.
Dear God, Thank you for “tagging” your apostles, the pope and priests, the saints, Mary, the martyrs, to be my role models for saying yes, without hesitation, to your call. I’m sorry for the times you have had to ask me more than once to answer your call; for the times that I have asked you to wait until I finished something that was my choice, not yours. Help me to always be ready and willing to say “Yes!” to your call, to be tagged—“I’m it!” Amen.
Are you ready to be “it?” What is it in your life that you are putting before God’s call? Are you ready to answer God’s call?
God says, “TAG! You’re it.”
Charlotte
Treat Your Spouse Like a Customer
From Family Life Today
I know that most men want to be just as successful at home as they are at work. And initially, you wouldn’t think of calling your wife or children customers. They are so much more than that, right? I mean, you need your work world so you can earn a decent living, but you don’t love your customers and colleagues. You don’t live with them, vacation with them, or sleep with them. Your wife and children are flesh and blood, while your customers are, well, customers. In your hierarchy of importance, your wife and children are at the very top, right?
Sort of.
While it’s true that you love your wife and children but only work with your customers, your behavior often sends signals to your loved ones that your customers matter more than they do. That is why the cry of a woman’s heart is often, “Please, you don’t have to be perfect, but give me the same respect you give your people at work.” And that’s really sad when you stop to think about it, because in a way, she is settling for something less than what she deserves; those you love should expect to be treated better than the way you treat your customers and work colleagues. So really, I’m setting the bar kind of low for you, but I can almost guarantee that if you begin thinking of your loved ones as your customers, they will become your best customers and you will begin to feel like the hero you want to be to them.
Holding on to your most loyal customer
If I ever get too far removed from one of my customers or business colleagues, the worst thing I can do is just ignore the problem and hope they don’t leave for one of my competitors. However, when you get to that place in business, the temptation is to do just that. You’re embarrassed and don’t really want to face your customer, or it just seems like too much work, so you’re tempted to procrastinate or just move on. Instead, I have to swallow my pride a little, get an appointment with that customer, and just put the cards on the table: “Hey, we haven’t been paying enough attention to you lately, and I’m sure it shows in the way we are serving you. I’m here to tell you we’re going to start treating you like a brand new account and get things back on track again.”
And that’s exactly what we need to do when we have lost touch with our families. There’s no perfect way to do this, but the following steps will help you begin to reconnect with your most important customer.
Make a Date with Your Spouse
Give them as much "scheduled" time as you give your customers.
Lean into the problem. The best leaders I know never hesitate to admit they are wrong or that they’ve made a mistake, and they don’t waste any time doing it. Instead of avoiding problems, they lean into them. Surprise your wife and ask her to pick a day when she can meet you for lunch. Then put your cards on the table, so to speak. Thank her for meeting you and tell her you know that you’ve let too many things interfere with your relationship with her and your children. Tell her you want to make some changes but that you want her input. Then invite her to say whatever she wants.
Don’t just listen. It’s one thing to listen to your customers. But if you don’t follow through on what they say, they will take their business elsewhere. If a colleague asks for my input, I’m always impressed when he pulls out a piece of paper and takes notes. It shows me that he values what I have to say. It may seem awkward, but when you ask for your wife’s input on the changes she’d like to see, write them down. If she seems taken aback by that, explain that you’re serious about this and that she’s as important as any client, with whom you would do the same thing.
Be prepared. When a sales rep has to meet with three different customers in a day, he tries to spend a little time before each appointment going over his file on the customer just to make sure he’s prepared. It helps him address the customer’s unique needs and give that customer his full attention. Sometimes the transition from the office to home is clouded with the things that are on your mind from work, causing you to let them creep into your relationships with your family. You wouldn’t think of walking into a business appointment and talking about the meeting you just had with another customer, but that’s often what we do when we walk in the door after a long day at the office. Use your drive home to prepare for what you really want when you get home: an enjoyable experience with the people you love. Reflect on your wife, her needs, hopes, and dreams. Focus on your kids and think of what their day at school was like. Mentally page through your profile about your wife and children to prepare for a great “appointment” with them.
More than a customer
I know this business language might seem inappropriate when thinking about your loved ones, and in a way it is. Time spent with your family is not really an appointment, and all that you know about them is much more than a profile. But it’s the language we use fifty to sixty hours a week, and sometimes our language dictates to us what is most important. If your family doesn’t have a slot in your calendar or a file in your customer database, they might not get the attention they deserve. It’s strange how that works, which is why we should undo all of that by learning how to treat the people we love as if they were our customers.
Taken from Treat Me Like a Customer by Louis Upkins. Copyright © 2009 by Louis Upkins . Used by permission of Zondervan.
I know that most men want to be just as successful at home as they are at work. And initially, you wouldn’t think of calling your wife or children customers. They are so much more than that, right? I mean, you need your work world so you can earn a decent living, but you don’t love your customers and colleagues. You don’t live with them, vacation with them, or sleep with them. Your wife and children are flesh and blood, while your customers are, well, customers. In your hierarchy of importance, your wife and children are at the very top, right?
Sort of.
While it’s true that you love your wife and children but only work with your customers, your behavior often sends signals to your loved ones that your customers matter more than they do. That is why the cry of a woman’s heart is often, “Please, you don’t have to be perfect, but give me the same respect you give your people at work.” And that’s really sad when you stop to think about it, because in a way, she is settling for something less than what she deserves; those you love should expect to be treated better than the way you treat your customers and work colleagues. So really, I’m setting the bar kind of low for you, but I can almost guarantee that if you begin thinking of your loved ones as your customers, they will become your best customers and you will begin to feel like the hero you want to be to them.
Holding on to your most loyal customer
If I ever get too far removed from one of my customers or business colleagues, the worst thing I can do is just ignore the problem and hope they don’t leave for one of my competitors. However, when you get to that place in business, the temptation is to do just that. You’re embarrassed and don’t really want to face your customer, or it just seems like too much work, so you’re tempted to procrastinate or just move on. Instead, I have to swallow my pride a little, get an appointment with that customer, and just put the cards on the table: “Hey, we haven’t been paying enough attention to you lately, and I’m sure it shows in the way we are serving you. I’m here to tell you we’re going to start treating you like a brand new account and get things back on track again.”
And that’s exactly what we need to do when we have lost touch with our families. There’s no perfect way to do this, but the following steps will help you begin to reconnect with your most important customer.
Make a Date with Your Spouse
Give them as much "scheduled" time as you give your customers.
Lean into the problem. The best leaders I know never hesitate to admit they are wrong or that they’ve made a mistake, and they don’t waste any time doing it. Instead of avoiding problems, they lean into them. Surprise your wife and ask her to pick a day when she can meet you for lunch. Then put your cards on the table, so to speak. Thank her for meeting you and tell her you know that you’ve let too many things interfere with your relationship with her and your children. Tell her you want to make some changes but that you want her input. Then invite her to say whatever she wants.
Don’t just listen. It’s one thing to listen to your customers. But if you don’t follow through on what they say, they will take their business elsewhere. If a colleague asks for my input, I’m always impressed when he pulls out a piece of paper and takes notes. It shows me that he values what I have to say. It may seem awkward, but when you ask for your wife’s input on the changes she’d like to see, write them down. If she seems taken aback by that, explain that you’re serious about this and that she’s as important as any client, with whom you would do the same thing.
Be prepared. When a sales rep has to meet with three different customers in a day, he tries to spend a little time before each appointment going over his file on the customer just to make sure he’s prepared. It helps him address the customer’s unique needs and give that customer his full attention. Sometimes the transition from the office to home is clouded with the things that are on your mind from work, causing you to let them creep into your relationships with your family. You wouldn’t think of walking into a business appointment and talking about the meeting you just had with another customer, but that’s often what we do when we walk in the door after a long day at the office. Use your drive home to prepare for what you really want when you get home: an enjoyable experience with the people you love. Reflect on your wife, her needs, hopes, and dreams. Focus on your kids and think of what their day at school was like. Mentally page through your profile about your wife and children to prepare for a great “appointment” with them.
More than a customer
I know this business language might seem inappropriate when thinking about your loved ones, and in a way it is. Time spent with your family is not really an appointment, and all that you know about them is much more than a profile. But it’s the language we use fifty to sixty hours a week, and sometimes our language dictates to us what is most important. If your family doesn’t have a slot in your calendar or a file in your customer database, they might not get the attention they deserve. It’s strange how that works, which is why we should undo all of that by learning how to treat the people we love as if they were our customers.
Taken from Treat Me Like a Customer by Louis Upkins. Copyright © 2009 by Louis Upkins . Used by permission of Zondervan.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Seeking Answers?
Women of Faith:
I read, watched and heard, Oprah, Matthew Kelley and Father Corapi, all say this week: we are “just trying to satisfy our inner spirit.” Our inner being, our subconscious mind, tells us what is right and what is wrong, and we will not find happiness, satisfaction, or peace until we “listen and follow” our inner being. That inner spiritual need is for God to be the controlling power in our lives.
We are often torn in our decision making: in deciding what is right and what is wrong: what is God’s will and what is ours. As humans we are impatient and stubborn, we want what looks fun and what will make us instantly “feel good,” just as if we were children.
We shop for things we think we want, but don’t need. We eat when we are not hungry.
We hang out with friends who have what we want or make us “feel good” because they accept our bad habits. We are intimate (not necessarily sexually, but in spirit through conversations) with the people we work with, and then wonder why we can’t, and don’t have anything to communicate with our spouse. We choose the escapes of drugs, alcohol, gambling, or just “being busy” so that we don’t have to face the problems in our lives.
In reading this week’s gospel messages, I found comfort in knowing that God realizes that our choices our difficult and that He has given us the answers to those tough decisions we face each day. God, thru His scripture, is very clear as to what we must sacrifice, to whom we must serve, and to where our inner spirit will find God’s treasures—consolation, hope, comfort, peace and ultimately happiness. He also makes it clear when, where, why and how to make our choices. He truly gives us the solutions to all of our needs, and answers all of our questions. If only we will listen.
“For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” Matthew 6:21
“No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other...A house divided against itself cannot stand. Matthew 6:24-30
“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” Luke 9:23
“Give up your evil ways and keep my commandments.” 2 Kgs 17:13
If our heart is with food, we will be overweight. If we choose money, we will serve the “work master” and never have time for the things that really matter in life—our spouse, our family, or serving the poor, lonely, or needy of this world. If we don’t deny ourselves we won’t ever see the inner happiness of the giving of ourselves—I think we have all heard the saying: “it is better to give than to receive.” And if we are not following God’s commandments, then we must be following the devil’s answers and answering to evil.
The saints who are God’s human role models gave us the following wisdom about how to make choices—
“The devil’s snare does not catch you unless you are already nibbling on the devil’s bait.”—St Ambrose
“The soul possesses freedom; and though the Devil may make suggestions, he does not have the power to compel you against your will.”-- St Cyril of Jerusalem
“You need great discrimination in order to distinguish between good and evil. So do not readily or lightly put your trust in appearances, but weigh things well, and after testing everything carefully cleave to what is good and reject what is evil. You must test and discriminate before you give credence to anything.”—St Gregory of Sinai
“However great may be the temptation, if we know how to use the weapon of prayer well, we shall come off conquerors at last, for prayer is more powerful than all the devils. He who is attacked by the spirits of darkness, only to apply himself vigorously to prayer, and he will beat them back with great success.”-- St Bernard
There are only two roads: good and evil: God’s road and the Devil’s. What is your Choice?
Dear God: Praise be your Answers. Thank you for giving me the saints to be my role model s. I am sorry for the times I have followed the Devil and been a sinner. Help me to ask the right questions so that I can make the right choices. Protect me from my need for instant gratification. Help me to be self-sacrificing and not self-serving. Amen
Blessings on your Choices this Week,
Charlotte
I read, watched and heard, Oprah, Matthew Kelley and Father Corapi, all say this week: we are “just trying to satisfy our inner spirit.” Our inner being, our subconscious mind, tells us what is right and what is wrong, and we will not find happiness, satisfaction, or peace until we “listen and follow” our inner being. That inner spiritual need is for God to be the controlling power in our lives.
We are often torn in our decision making: in deciding what is right and what is wrong: what is God’s will and what is ours. As humans we are impatient and stubborn, we want what looks fun and what will make us instantly “feel good,” just as if we were children.
We shop for things we think we want, but don’t need. We eat when we are not hungry.
We hang out with friends who have what we want or make us “feel good” because they accept our bad habits. We are intimate (not necessarily sexually, but in spirit through conversations) with the people we work with, and then wonder why we can’t, and don’t have anything to communicate with our spouse. We choose the escapes of drugs, alcohol, gambling, or just “being busy” so that we don’t have to face the problems in our lives.
In reading this week’s gospel messages, I found comfort in knowing that God realizes that our choices our difficult and that He has given us the answers to those tough decisions we face each day. God, thru His scripture, is very clear as to what we must sacrifice, to whom we must serve, and to where our inner spirit will find God’s treasures—consolation, hope, comfort, peace and ultimately happiness. He also makes it clear when, where, why and how to make our choices. He truly gives us the solutions to all of our needs, and answers all of our questions. If only we will listen.
“For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” Matthew 6:21
“No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other...A house divided against itself cannot stand. Matthew 6:24-30
“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” Luke 9:23
“Give up your evil ways and keep my commandments.” 2 Kgs 17:13
If our heart is with food, we will be overweight. If we choose money, we will serve the “work master” and never have time for the things that really matter in life—our spouse, our family, or serving the poor, lonely, or needy of this world. If we don’t deny ourselves we won’t ever see the inner happiness of the giving of ourselves—I think we have all heard the saying: “it is better to give than to receive.” And if we are not following God’s commandments, then we must be following the devil’s answers and answering to evil.
The saints who are God’s human role models gave us the following wisdom about how to make choices—
“The devil’s snare does not catch you unless you are already nibbling on the devil’s bait.”—St Ambrose
“The soul possesses freedom; and though the Devil may make suggestions, he does not have the power to compel you against your will.”-- St Cyril of Jerusalem
“You need great discrimination in order to distinguish between good and evil. So do not readily or lightly put your trust in appearances, but weigh things well, and after testing everything carefully cleave to what is good and reject what is evil. You must test and discriminate before you give credence to anything.”—St Gregory of Sinai
“However great may be the temptation, if we know how to use the weapon of prayer well, we shall come off conquerors at last, for prayer is more powerful than all the devils. He who is attacked by the spirits of darkness, only to apply himself vigorously to prayer, and he will beat them back with great success.”-- St Bernard
There are only two roads: good and evil: God’s road and the Devil’s. What is your Choice?
Dear God: Praise be your Answers. Thank you for giving me the saints to be my role model s. I am sorry for the times I have followed the Devil and been a sinner. Help me to ask the right questions so that I can make the right choices. Protect me from my need for instant gratification. Help me to be self-sacrificing and not self-serving. Amen
Blessings on your Choices this Week,
Charlotte
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
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