Showing posts with label marriage and family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage and family. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Marriage--Small Steps, Big Rewards

Friends in Faith
At our date night on Sunday we had a panel of couples married 30+ years. Our next date night is Sunday, November 13 at 5:30 at St. Pat's. All are welcome!!

Here is a summary of the panel’s list of small steps which has graced their marriages with BIG Rewards: from 155 years of combined experience and in no particular order.

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (Put God at the center, He has a plan.)

Never let the “sun go down on your anger.”

Communicate. Speak what is in your heart. Your spouse can’t read your mind.

Forgive.

Realize that your spouse is different than you. (Male/female) Just because you feel one way doesn’t mean they do too.

Go to church together.

Tell your spouse what you need. Ask. Your spouse can’t read your mind.

HUMOR! Be ready to laugh at the situations you get into. And be ready to laugh at yourself first.

Give them little love notes.

Never think the D word. Be committed to making your marriage work.

Go to a Marriage Encounter or retreat. (This was mentioned by all 4 couples!!) Enrichment-Focus.

Write letters to each other. (Texting works for this too, but don’t it means more when you say it in person!!)

DATE your spouse. REGULARLY. Make the time!

Make them your priority. EVERYDAY!! At some point it will be just the two of you again.

Make a “cup of blessings” (put notes about memories/blessings of daily life into a box or container as they happen). Pull them out on the not-so-good days of life—helps to remind us of the joys in our lives.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. But tell it to your spouse, not your friends, your siblings, or the world. Keep it between you.

Seek enrichment. – Date Night, Marriage Encounters.

Like them. Know them.

We are each others best friends. Treat them even better than your other friends.

Don’t put other people in the middle. Talk to your spouse first.

Prayer is intimacy.

Give them a kiss before going to bed. EVERYDAY!! (Even when you might not want to—don’t let the sun go down on your anger). Forgive!

Choose your words with care. Communicate with Love. Be compassionate.

Come to date night :)!!!!!!

Be ready to change, every day is a new day. Struggles and conflicts are life.

Sign each other with the Sign of the Cross before you go to bed.

Have meals together. Sit down together as a family. Go to church together—kids too!!

Work side by side—be attached. (Did anyone notice that all 4 couples work together every day?)

COMMITMENT, Love no matter what!

Pray together, at meals and before bed.

Have a half full cup—on the top.

Be willing to share your cup with your spouse—fill each other up.

Be able to make your spouse laugh.

Communicate.

Pray to give God your worries, anxieties, and with praise and thanksgiving—in glory and honor

Rely on God.

There is always someone or something else that is worse than your “bad”.
Look for the gifts of each day.

LISTEN. Don’t answer a question before it is asked. Your spouse might be thinking something different.

Walk in the other persons shoes. Try to think as they are thinking.

FORGIVE. And forget. Have a Bad memory. Don’t keep bringing up the “same old, same old.”

Let it go. Let God have control.

PRAY TOGETHER.

Make your own dream/goal lists and share them with your spouse. Set goals together. Write it down!!

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (God at the center, His plan.)

Thank you to Gary & Dorothy, Tom and Mary and Deacon Joe & Francie for sharing their insights.
Blessings on your marriages,
The DATE NIGHT TEAM—Stan & Charlotte, Jay & Vickie, Jim & Kris, Deacon Joe & Francie

Monday, November 1, 2010

Snooze Button

Women of Faith:

Are you like me in the morning, hitting the snooze button 3, or 4, or more times. Sometimes even pushing the alarm clocks “snooze” limit?

Are we pushing the “snooze” button on God? God says we can’t push Him to a limit, but have we “hit snooze” so often that we are oversleeping and missing the rewards
He offers us each day, His ability to care for us in every aspect of our “daily” lives.

Monday: Set the tone for yourself and God: Am I sleeping and exercising regularly and then choosing the right foods to eat? Or is “snooze” the name of the diet and exercise plan, saying I will “snooze” til tomorrow, the weekend or maybe even a New Year’s resolution?”

Tuesday—Our Country: Don’t snooze, VOTE tomorrow!! God’s choice is LIFE, not protection of our economy but of the people He created. “No servant can serve two masters. 8 He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." Luke 16: 13

Wednesday—Spirit Day (Religious Ed/church night): If you are taking the kids to get educated, are you educating yourself in God’ ways by what you are reading and watching? Are you in “snooze” mode with escape books, reality TV or rap music, or are you reading a self help book (Matthew Kelley), watching EWTN (Catholic TV) or listening to Christian radio (99.1 or 101.9).

Thursday—Societies “model.” Are we “snoozing and losing” focus of God because of the society and peer pressures around us. Don’t give in to “saying and doing” what society says is right. We know in our heart what God is asking us to wake up to and to speak for and against. If we are awake to God, His joy in our lives will be contagious to those around us.

Friday—the day of the cross: Are you hitting the snooze button on asking for “forgiveness?” Someplace there is someone we need to tell, “I’m sorry.” When was the last time YOU held YOURSELF accountable and received the sacrament of reconciliation? God’s forgiveness and mercy is for all, regardless of the seriousness of our sin, and if we ASK. As yesterday’s reading from Wis 11:22-12:2 reminds us: “But you have mercy on all, because you can do all things; and you overlook people's sins that they may repent. For you love all things that are and loathe nothing that you have made; for what you hated, you would not have fashioned. And how could a thing remain, unless you willed it; or be preserved, had it not been called forth by you? But you spare all things, because they are yours, O LORD and lover of souls, for your imperishable spirit is in all things! Therefore you rebuke offenders little by little, warn them and remind them of the sins they are committing, that they may abandon their wickedness and believe in you, O LORD!”

Saturday: Date night! How important have I made my spouse this week? God tells us that the purpose of marriage is to take our spouse to heaven. They can’t come with us if we don’t ask them to come and if we don’t make them our priority—not just on

Saturday, but all week long, in every decision, in every step we take with God. Quit putting them on “snooze” just because they are the most “tolerant” and understanding person in your life. Make your spouse your priority. (If you are not married: a parent, a “spiritually lonely” child, the elderly or someone without a family: someone is seeking your friendship so that you can share God in their life.)

Sunday—God’s chosen day. Are we taking ourselves (and our children) to church, or sleeping through another “snooze” on the alarm clock, saying “this is MY day to sleep in?” God doesn’t “sleep in!” He is awake all the time, seeing our every “snooze,” and listening attentively to our every prayer. Be awakened by Church, listen to His word and be fed his body and blood so that we can remain spiritually healthy when we go home and want to “snooze” in the other parts of our life.

All Loving, All Merciful God, Wake me up. Help me to turn off the snooze button in my life and say “Good Morning, God, I am awake for you today. Amen.

God's Alarm! Snooze! God's Buzzing! SNOOZE! GOD's CALLING! Wake up, if you have not already done so, because it’s “your” time, in your life, to do something for God.

Blessings,
Charlotte

Monday, October 4, 2010

Blame and Complain

Where is God when we are blaming and complaining, when we are in pain or suffering and something isn’t going our way?

This week’s readings are about God’s presence in our lives especially when we are suffering. ”How long, O LORD? I cry for help but you do not listen! I cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not intervene. Why do you let me see ruin; why must I look at misery? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and clamorous discord. Then the LORD answered me and said: Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets, so that one can read it readily. For the vision still has its time, presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint; if it delays, wait for it, it will surely come, it will not be late. The rash one has no integrity; but the just one, because of his faith, shall live”. Hab 1:2-3; 2:2-4

We are reminded in this reading, and in Paul’s letter to Timothy that we must have faith, patience and humility in our lives. That God is not here to disappoint us, that He has a vision and that we must WAIT and pray in faith regardless of the sufferings placed in our path.

“Beloved: I remind you, to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord, nor of me, a prisoner for his sake; but bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.
Take as your norm the sound words that you heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Guard this rich trust with the help of the Holy Spirit that dwells within us.” 2 Tm 1:6-8, 13-14


Not every day can be as “perfect” as the beautiful fall day that today is going to be; not every day is a day in Heaven. All around us, we or someone we know, is suffering. There is a complaint, a blame, a test of our patience, an ache, a pain, or a tragedy.

Yet, if we look around, if we seek God, if we choose to accept our sufferings as Christ did, there will be a glimpse of heaven even in those moments of tragedy and suffering, even in our sorrows. We will receive a hug from a spouse, a child, grandchild or friend. There will be a kind word from someone you didn’t even know cared. There will be a “flower” blooming in the desert, a sparkle in the death of a fall frost, or a star to light the sky.

Earth is a “test, “a preparation,” for what is to come. We are here to act as Christ did in His sufferings, in His service, to Love in Good Times and In Bad. We are to accept our sufferings, and from them learn patience, faith and humility. If God didn’t “let us suffer” we would have no reason to seek Him in prayer.

And, most of us have the tendency to pray more when we are suffering. God wants to know that “we trust” Him, “know” Him, “love” Him; that our faith rests in Him.

How many times do we forgetten to thank Him for the very small treasures of our life? Have we thanked Him for the roof over our head, the food on our table, the “I love you” from our spouse, a child’s hand, a friends smile or time to spend with our family?

Our sufferings are also a reminder that we are not in control, but that God is in control. It is our faith, hope and love which will bring us to prayer in both good times and in bad: to look for Christ in our life regardless of what “suffering,” what unkind word, what injustice, may have happened in our day.

Dear God: Praise the glimpses where I can “see” you. Forgive me for the times I have blamed my spouse, my friends, my neighbors for my suffering, especially those caused my own deeds, actions or inactions. Help me to make decisions guided by faith and the wisdom of the Spirit. Guide my actions and my words in my family, with my friends and in voting for our countries leaders. Help me not to place blame, especially where I could be the solution. Help me not to complain but to be patient and listen to you in prayer. Amen.

As Christians we never take “enough” time for prayer. Suffering is a part of our lives, so that we will stop and “look” harder for God. Let's give God credit for having a plan that will be fulfilled in HIS time, and that will not disappoint. God is still in control of our destiny!
In faith,
Charlotte

Monday, August 9, 2010

Live from San Antonio

We are in San Antonio, a city rich in Catholic heritage, which was named after St. Anthony, who celebrated the first mass here almost 400 years ago. Our mission is that of “spiritual recharge” with “carefree timelessness”—Matthew Kelly-- for each other and with God.

Saturday, as part of an audience of over 10,000, we listened to the internationally known priest, Father Corapi, www.fathercorapi.com. He was sponsored by our special friends, Greg and Julie Alexander, founders of the Alexander House, www.thealexanderhouse.org and the “Covenant of Love” marriage enrichment and ministry programs. (Watch for more—the ministry is coming to TT soon!)

Father Corapi is a “conservative, Harley riding,” priest, who is a Vietnam vet, was once a millionaire businessman in Hollywood and Las Vegas, and lost everything, becoming homeless as he succumbed to drug addiction. Thru his conversion, Father Corapi was ordained a priest by Pope John Paul II with Mother Theresa in attendance in 1991. He appears regularly on EWTN TV and radio stations and is known for speaking the hard truth about where our country and our families are headed spiritually.

His message this weekend was entitled “Life, Love and the Purpose of Our Existence.”
In summary, of the 16 pages of notes I took, Father Corapi said, ‘“The time is at hand to change your life,” because “where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” And in the end there are only 2 choices, There is Heaven, or There is Hell. “You also must be prepared, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.”’ Luke 12:32-48.

He said, “The United States is in a state of spiritual warfare” (see Ephesians 6: 10-17.) Our nation is unraveling before our eyes and yet we continue to ignore the signs of the consequences of our sin. And that our life, our love, our souls depend on how we respond to the conflict around us.

This “spiritual warfare” is seen in 4000 abortions and 3600 divorces in the USA each DAY. One half of all marriages end in divorce and almost as many couples are cohabitating without the benefit of marriage. Because marriages are failing, and our children are in misery, so too are our communities and our nation in chaos. Our youth are being denied the teachings of morality, church, and marriage. There is an open, organized attempt to deny the existence of God, just as we have been denied the rights to mention God in our public school classrooms. And the recent rulings by the courts concerning homosexuality and same sex unions which is spoken so strongly against within the teachings of the Bible are another “failure” to heed God’s commands.

Pope Pius XII once said: “The greatest sin of our generation is that it has lost all sense of sin.” And yet we have been told over and over that God will punish and destroy those who sin.

Some of the reason for these sins, these failures, this evil in our society, can be pointed back to the choice to question, and then to go against, the Churches’ moral teachings, especially the introduction of birth control and the ever increasing materialism and secularism in our society.

In Fatima, Portugal, where Our Lady, The Blessed Mother of God, Mary, appeared in 1917 to 3 children and now, again as she appears daily since 1981, in Medjugorje, Bosnia, www.medjugorje.org , Mary brings the message: “I have come to warn the faithful to amend their lives and ask pardon for their sins.”

She continues, by adding repeatedly: “More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.” This, along with the message, “The Blessed Mother can no longer restrain the hand of her Divine Son from striking the world with just punishment for its many crimes,” should be more than enough warning. However, many Christians have either never heard the warning or have chosen to ignore the warnings. And with each passing day more and more of the predictions made by the Blessed Mother to the children of Fatima and Medjugorje are coming true.
Father Corapi brings much the same message, saying that we must change our ways, heed the commandments, listen and speak the truth, and live by the cross—first with God and then by loving our neighbor as ourself.

Dear God: Praise Be Your Love given freely for life. Help me to Love you more fully by always being ready to sacrifice my life for your sake. Help me to never “water down” or only speak “partial” truths because they are “easier” to bear. Help me be “spiritually ready” to fight the battles and the spiritual war I see all around me. Bless our politicians so that they will listen and act as you command. Thank you for giving Stan & I the opportunity of “carefree timelessness” to spend with you and with each other. Amen.

Will we heed the warnings of Mary and of Father Corapi? Will we do as we are asked: to pray daily, to say the rosary daily, to receive the Eucharist weekly, and to read the bible regularly? Or will we risk being unready sinners, denying the Church teachings and living immorally, choosing only what feels good and not following the commandments?
Blessings from San Antonio,
Charlotte