What is a Friend?

Friends of Faith:

 

"Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your Kingdom." (Psalm 145:10-12)

 

My best friend is my husband, Stan. He keeps me on the straight and narrow, filling me with the joy and the motivation to keep me moving forward and up. For the two of us this means that his sense of humor will make me smile (even when I resist) and even when I am the most frustrated, disgusted or disappointed. He knows how to make me laugh through my tears and many times helps me see the other side of the situation. Generally he reminds me of the many things I have to be thankful for when so many others are suffering or sacrificing or left wanting or in need.

 

God’s job description of a spouse’s role is “to help his/her mate get to heaven.” That means making the person you have committed your life to smile and find joy; pulling them up when they get weary by gently reminding them to keep going and to be thankful that they can. For a spouse this friendship is a 24-7 lifelong commitment.

 

The truth of being Christian friends is that we are a team. Just as a smile can be contagious, so too does it become contagious when we work together to helpthe other see the "glorious splendor of the Kingdom" by being Good Samaritan’s to both neighbors and enemies; using our time and treasures for the good of others; persevering in prayer for each other; and trusting that we are truly faithful Christian missionaries working towards that same goal.

 

Paul speaks of his own loneliness when his friends desert him: “Try to join me soon, for Demas, enamored of the present world, deserted me and went to Thessalonica, Crescens to Galatia,and Titus to Dalmatia. Luke is the only one with me.... Alexander the coppersmith did me a great deal of harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. You too be on guard against him, for he has strongly resisted our preaching. At my first defense no one appeared on my behalf, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them!” 2 Tm 4: 10-11, 14-16

 

Not only did they desert him, but one did him harm, and one resisted the truth he was teaching. They were definitely lacking in their loyalty as best friends. And yet, despite this, Paul asked that it not be held against them AND he continued to pray for them.

 

As Christian friends we are each others’ constant support. Praying for, listening to and serving each other in many possible ways. We all have talents and gifts to share and are called as true friends never do anything to harm the other or desert them when things get tough.

 

Being a friend is a tremendous responsibility and can be an awesome joy when shared together—especially amongst a family.

 

What type of friend am I? Am I a friend who is there only in good times, rich times and healthy times? Or am a “spousal” friend, committed to getting the ones I love to heaven 24-7, in good times AND in bad, for richer AND for poorer and healthy AND sick times to bring them to the glorious splendor of the kingdom?

 

Do I lead my friends on the narrow path Jesus taught on the cross through his own service and humility? Or do I lead them astray with taunting words that say “it’s okay, everyone else is doing it.”

Heavenly Father, You are my greatest friend. Thank you for all the friends you have given me here on earth, especially my best friend, Stan (insert your own spouses name). Help us each to be good friends to another, loyal, honest, trustworthy and compassionate. And help us to make each other smile. Amen.
 Appear (be there) for your friends; learn the truth so you can teach in honesty and truth, especially by your own actions; and exhibit honor and respect for those who are sent by God to guide you on the straight and narrow path to righteousness.

Be a great friend!

Blessings,
Charlotte

 

Marriage--Small Steps, Big Rewards

Friends in Faith
At our date night on Sunday we had a panel of couples married 30+ years. Our next date night is Sunday, November 13 at 5:30 at St. Pat's. All are welcome!!

Here is a summary of the panel’s list of small steps which has graced their marriages with BIG Rewards: from 155 years of combined experience and in no particular order.

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (Put God at the center, He has a plan.)

Never let the “sun go down on your anger.”

Communicate. Speak what is in your heart. Your spouse can’t read your mind.

Forgive.

Realize that your spouse is different than you. (Male/female) Just because you feel one way doesn’t mean they do too.

Go to church together.

Tell your spouse what you need. Ask. Your spouse can’t read your mind.

HUMOR! Be ready to laugh at the situations you get into. And be ready to laugh at yourself first.

Give them little love notes.

Never think the D word. Be committed to making your marriage work.

Go to a Marriage Encounter or retreat. (This was mentioned by all 4 couples!!) Enrichment-Focus.

Write letters to each other. (Texting works for this too, but don’t it means more when you say it in person!!)

DATE your spouse. REGULARLY. Make the time!

Make them your priority. EVERYDAY!! At some point it will be just the two of you again.

Make a “cup of blessings” (put notes about memories/blessings of daily life into a box or container as they happen). Pull them out on the not-so-good days of life—helps to remind us of the joys in our lives.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. But tell it to your spouse, not your friends, your siblings, or the world. Keep it between you.

Seek enrichment. – Date Night, Marriage Encounters.

Like them. Know them.

We are each others best friends. Treat them even better than your other friends.

Don’t put other people in the middle. Talk to your spouse first.

Prayer is intimacy.

Give them a kiss before going to bed. EVERYDAY!! (Even when you might not want to—don’t let the sun go down on your anger). Forgive!

Choose your words with care. Communicate with Love. Be compassionate.

Come to date night :)!!!!!!

Be ready to change, every day is a new day. Struggles and conflicts are life.

Sign each other with the Sign of the Cross before you go to bed.

Have meals together. Sit down together as a family. Go to church together—kids too!!

Work side by side—be attached. (Did anyone notice that all 4 couples work together every day?)

COMMITMENT, Love no matter what!

Pray together, at meals and before bed.

Have a half full cup—on the top.

Be willing to share your cup with your spouse—fill each other up.

Be able to make your spouse laugh.

Communicate.

Pray to give God your worries, anxieties, and with praise and thanksgiving—in glory and honor

Rely on God.

There is always someone or something else that is worse than your “bad”.
Look for the gifts of each day.

LISTEN. Don’t answer a question before it is asked. Your spouse might be thinking something different.

Walk in the other persons shoes. Try to think as they are thinking.

FORGIVE. And forget. Have a Bad memory. Don’t keep bringing up the “same old, same old.”

Let it go. Let God have control.

PRAY TOGETHER.

Make your own dream/goal lists and share them with your spouse. Set goals together. Write it down!!

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (God at the center, His plan.)

Thank you to Gary & Dorothy, Tom and Mary and Deacon Joe & Francie for sharing their insights.
Blessings on your marriages,
The DATE NIGHT TEAM—Stan & Charlotte, Jay & Vickie, Jim & Kris, Deacon Joe & Francie

I come to do Your will: the vows

Women of Faith:

Here am I, Lord; I come to do your will.(8a and 9a) Ps 40:2, 4, 7-8, 8-9, 10

In true fashion Kristy and Tyler walked down the aisle to those words. And the vows:

“I, Tyler, take you Kristy to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward. I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward, till death do us part.”

took on more meaning than is intended on a wedding day. (For those of you who were unable to join us, Tyler had the flu on Friday, Kristy on their wedding day.) In sickness and health….

Behind the scenes we saw: Kristy and Tyler pray together in private as they began their day together. After protecting her dress from the ill affects of the flu, we saw her bridesmaids gather around her as she prayed for each of them and for the strength to get them all thru the ceremony. After the ceremony we saw Kristy tell Tyler to go with the wedding party for a celebration cruise around town and Tyler make the choice to stay with his new bride as she slept for an hour. We saw Tyler and Kristy pray the dinner prayer as one, newly joined in Christ. And we saw both of them continue to smile through the reception and dance even though the day had not been their ideal.

Here am I, Lord; I come to do your will; in sickness and in health.

As Paul affirmed the villages he preached in, they affirmed each other. And they were, and have been, affirmed by their bridal party, friends and family who have shared and given them so much.

They also have learned from the very beginning: not everything will be perfect, not every dream will come true, but that God has given them to each other, to support each other, SELFLESSLY. All they have to do is continue to ask for His support.
And He has put them in our lives to give us a shining example of “I come to do Your will.”

Tyler and Kristy Staker—We are so proud of you! Know that by your example you have shown us that God puts us here not to always have everything go our way but to do His will by serving each other, and by doing everything in prayer with God as our leader. And if we do, we will be carried through the good times and bad, in sickness and health, till death do us part.

Blessings on your marriage! And may each of us use their example of selflessness to remember our own vows and to live our own marriages and lives in prayer.

Thank you to each of you who have played a part in their lives and ours.

Charlotte & Stan

Date Night Reminder

Friends in Faith:
We would like to invite you to join us for St. Pat's Date Night on Sunday November 21 at 5:30 for faith, food, fellowship, and tools to be used in your marriage journey.
Each date brings new tools for Christian marriage and assists in reminding us of the vow we took to each other and with God on our marriage day.
As Matthew Kelly says we are never too old, or too young to enrich and change our lives: our youngest couple is engaged and soon to be married and our oldest couple has been married over 60 years! Making, and taking, time to "date" is one of the tools to a healthy, happy marriage. And all of the work of deciding where to go, where/what to eat, who to go out with and who's going to watch the kids is already taken care of :)
If you need daycare please reply back to this email or call our home phone below and leave a message.
For your calendar future date nights are scheduled on Jan 23, Feb 13 and March 27, 2011.
Hope to see you next Sunday night, St Pat's, 5:30.
Blessings on your marriage,
Stan and Charlotte