Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Marriage--Small Steps, Big Rewards

Friends in Faith
At our date night on Sunday we had a panel of couples married 30+ years. Our next date night is Sunday, November 13 at 5:30 at St. Pat's. All are welcome!!

Here is a summary of the panel’s list of small steps which has graced their marriages with BIG Rewards: from 155 years of combined experience and in no particular order.

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (Put God at the center, He has a plan.)

Never let the “sun go down on your anger.”

Communicate. Speak what is in your heart. Your spouse can’t read your mind.


Realize that your spouse is different than you. (Male/female) Just because you feel one way doesn’t mean they do too.

Go to church together.

Tell your spouse what you need. Ask. Your spouse can’t read your mind.

HUMOR! Be ready to laugh at the situations you get into. And be ready to laugh at yourself first.

Give them little love notes.

Never think the D word. Be committed to making your marriage work.

Go to a Marriage Encounter or retreat. (This was mentioned by all 4 couples!!) Enrichment-Focus.

Write letters to each other. (Texting works for this too, but don’t it means more when you say it in person!!)

DATE your spouse. REGULARLY. Make the time!

Make them your priority. EVERYDAY!! At some point it will be just the two of you again.

Make a “cup of blessings” (put notes about memories/blessings of daily life into a box or container as they happen). Pull them out on the not-so-good days of life—helps to remind us of the joys in our lives.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. But tell it to your spouse, not your friends, your siblings, or the world. Keep it between you.

Seek enrichment. – Date Night, Marriage Encounters.

Like them. Know them.

We are each others best friends. Treat them even better than your other friends.

Don’t put other people in the middle. Talk to your spouse first.

Prayer is intimacy.

Give them a kiss before going to bed. EVERYDAY!! (Even when you might not want to—don’t let the sun go down on your anger). Forgive!

Choose your words with care. Communicate with Love. Be compassionate.

Come to date night :)!!!!!!

Be ready to change, every day is a new day. Struggles and conflicts are life.

Sign each other with the Sign of the Cross before you go to bed.

Have meals together. Sit down together as a family. Go to church together—kids too!!

Work side by side—be attached. (Did anyone notice that all 4 couples work together every day?)

COMMITMENT, Love no matter what!

Pray together, at meals and before bed.

Have a half full cup—on the top.

Be willing to share your cup with your spouse—fill each other up.

Be able to make your spouse laugh.


Pray to give God your worries, anxieties, and with praise and thanksgiving—in glory and honor

Rely on God.

There is always someone or something else that is worse than your “bad”.
Look for the gifts of each day.

LISTEN. Don’t answer a question before it is asked. Your spouse might be thinking something different.

Walk in the other persons shoes. Try to think as they are thinking.

FORGIVE. And forget. Have a Bad memory. Don’t keep bringing up the “same old, same old.”

Let it go. Let God have control.


Make your own dream/goal lists and share them with your spouse. Set goals together. Write it down!!

The top four: Be committed, Forgive, Communicate and Pray (God at the center, His plan.)

Thank you to Gary & Dorothy, Tom and Mary and Deacon Joe & Francie for sharing their insights.
Blessings on your marriages,
The DATE NIGHT TEAM—Stan & Charlotte, Jay & Vickie, Jim & Kris, Deacon Joe & Francie

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